Creepy crawly little creature that keeps me from using the bathrooms at work

Disclaimer: This is based on a true experience, while it may be entertaining i have a serious dislike (bordering on hate) for the things in the book. So much so that the following will be enforced for this post my dear children: 1. there will be no images of THEM 2. that may be one of the most traumatizing things ive ever read... and i'm a women and gender studies student... we read problematic and traumatizing shit all the time.
anyways, enjoy.

I see you there pretending to be all innocent and non-threatening but I know that isn’t the case.
See while I may be at least 50 times bigger than you
(depending on the species) let’s be honest for a moment little devil  thing
I don’t mess with anything that crawls and hides in the dark or that is big enough to eat my leg of
and you never die…
Ever.
What’s that?
That’s not true you say.
 People step on you all the time you say…
well… have you seen you?
Like really taken a good look in the mirror
and no I’m not talking about those lazy constitutionals you take when no one else is around
no I am saying really take a look…
now I’m not one to enforce societal beauty standards
but you are hideous.
If I was sure that you had feelings then I am at this point most certain that they are hurt
 but since I am sure that you don’t (seeing as you fail to take mine into consideration as I stand here dancing in place thinking of my next move) I have no problem saying these words to you.
no spawn of Satan the only thing that will outlive you is a Twinkie
and even that is relatively questionable
But for now my bladder is screaming at me in desperation
and my home is a thirty minute drive from this hell which I call work so this time you win.
I will run away or dance for that matter
I will cringe at the sight of you
and I will promise myself that next time my resolve will win out
that next time your existence will not matter because I will stand up to you….
Right after I call the orkin man

 

THEY!!! ARE!!! WATCHING!!! YOU!!

 

take two take two.... so something interesting that came from our lovely reading from the last few weeks.... hmmmm oh this one is going to be interesting my young people.

 

There is a portion in the book where there is mention of government conspiracy theory and crack downs that biohackers are/could be capable of making biological chemical weapons of mass destruction and instead of researching that which could cure cancer or other ailments they are really striving to become bioterroristin from the comfort of their own homes.... why would the government be scared of a few low budget science experiments in times when 'merica is the strongest nation on the planet?

Because its not fear of our scientist really its fear of the scientist of our enemies being able to do the very same things and selling it to their governments thus putting our citizens in harms way (and the possibility that our scientist could possibly turn on us and sell their discoveries because of the years of bullying that they experienced from the weaker minded non believers). well we are afraid of that and all the foreign nationals that come the US to complete an education and return home (thus eliminating the brain drain from their countries as well as applying their skills to their people where need)

and therefore chapter 13 instantly caught my interest, this isnt because i am some random bleeding heart hippy who cant stand to see the man interfere and flex its muscle. no thats not it at all actually because if we want to get technical i am the man. at least thats what my job would fall into as well as my degree of study. No it caught my attention because the opening story of Aafia Siddiqui makes my damn blood boil for two reasons. one the main reason that the accusations must be trues are because of her scientific background and knowledge AND she is Muslim but not just Muslim one from Pakistan! and two once again here we go doing and denying again that we may or may not be taking our role as world super power a little to far and violating other ppl's rights..... but this is something that i dont know for sure..... this is something  that we all many (or may not) have wondered at one time or another.

but im on a tangent....

9/11 is a huge contributor to this.... sad realistic world of renewed fear and racism that has come to have a vice grip on the country. and as we can see with this chapter it is something that is also affecting the biotech community and contributing to the keeping of the knowledge away from the masses by the man...

in the name of freedom

face/palm!

well lets see i think ill be redoing this weeks post seeing as i seem to have forgotten the rest of the objective after "Make your own question..." however i may or may not repost the one i made after the fact for this.

time is not a line. but actually- from a none linear, non subjective point of view- its more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff. [take 2]

Warning this posting will be littered with little lewd pictures of David Tennant (you can call him 10) various acts of awesome from various episodes of doctor who and whatever else i want to put in.

so my lovely individual humanoids, this week are given the option to pose our own question and if you havent gathered by now mine will be something more than likely off the wall. soo lets not waste any time shall we!

Given all the interesting things that we have discussed here and there over the last few weeks i find myself wondering why the hell have we not discussed the matter of time travel? we all know its something that our little human minds have ponders for decades if not centuries so i think the matter must be investigated fully and we must waste no more time in doing so this must happen immediately.

so then lets begin, why are we so obsessed with the thought of time travel... or maybe its just me, i mean lets look at all of the fantastic things that we could finally have the answers to from our ancestors... like what were you thinking predicting that our clothing would be made from petrol or that we would be eating food derived from coal. ok well maybe we wouldnt ask these specific questions but there are other. However one thing that may or may not be true is that we might not want to interfere with the events in history.

 what if we could go back to that point where the universe was formed.... the doctors done it... then again he was going to see how a giant nest of alian spider people had managed to survive extinction  and were living at the center of the earth before officially exterminating them. or if we could travel to see what the dinosaurs actually looked like. but all  of that aside what could we assist with or in the matters involving my dear dear doctor what could we save. but also what if it wasnt just time that we could travel through what if we could travel to other universes and through their time lines as well....

Would we be our usual human selves and try to show or superiority or would we call on the doctor (as we so often do) when we realize that when it comes to other worlds we would be epically screwed when it comes to who is more powerful and authoritative because lets face it when it comes to technology and whatever else would be brought against us as in the case of an alien invasion  we would totally lost!

But lets revisit that whole traveling through our timeline thing shall we..

Now we wouldnt just be travelling through our past but also through our future! oh the things that we would see the things that would scare the hell out of us and that would impress us. maybe our future would be like the episode gridlock where they visit the future to discover that the majority has been trapped in one giant traffic jam for decades and the voice of reason and knowledge is known as the face of Boe who is taken care of by nuns who have evolved from cats.... (seriously its a great episode). but in the end dear young people we will never know if any of this is remotely possible until we actually figure out the science that  would lead to it becoming actual reality. If we really step back and take a good hard look asking is this really a possibility would we really at some point be able to travel forward, backward, left right or whatever other direction we choose through our time lines as if we were in wonka's big glass elevator.... maybe, yes maybe one day we will. but until then we have wonderful shows like Doctor Who, Red Dwarf, V, Star Trek and so many others that much like the wonderful future that never was are our predictions of what we would someday like our society to achieve.

story time! story time!!! (face plant into carpet)

 

Gather round young ones for I will tell you a tale.

It has nothing to do with band camp no no… this is a story of old yet it so seems
to apply to modernity. Way back in oh 1999 (where many of you may have still
been in the upper levels of elementary school) times were simpler cigarettes
still killed you but cost a lot less and jeans were so big you could almost
literally fit a small village under each leg. Yes my young ones these were the
days and then the world went to hell… and sparkly vampires were found to be
actual reality. the end!

But that’s not the end now is it, otherwise this would be a horrible story. no no
this is the story of my highly interesting former roommate hanna and her summer
of mad science, I say mad because she was a little less than sane in all
reality. Hanna was fascinated with everything she didn’t know about and her
latest interest had fallen on this new think called biotech.

I am still unaware of what happened in those 8 hours I was slaving away out on
the flight line that day but when I came home she was raging about conspiracy of
the government to keep us all from knowing the simplest scientific knowledge. “They
are hording all the discoveries, giving them only to the rich I tell you. I bet
we would have a cure for everything if we just gave it to bill gates. One week!
That’s all it would take!” 

I’m sure you could imagine my concern for my personal safety at this point. 

This went on for about an hour before I informed her that I was going to lay down
and walked (ran) to my room locking the door behind me. When I woke hours later
hoping that it was a dream I discovered that it wasn’t that while I was
blissfully slumbering she had been busy researching and then shopping. Our living
room had been transformed into a makeshift laboratory, looking around with my
mouth hanging open I managed to stutter out that this is not ok… mostly because
I wanted to play video games for a while.

“Not ok!!! This is more than ok we are going to discover… crack codes! What if we
find the answer to the questions that scientist have been struggling to answer
for decades?” As she rambled on I did a hasty calculation of how long it would
take me to pack and move out of the apartment without her noticing; only
problem was that she did work down the hall from me. “what about the possibility
of the government busting in one of these days in the middle of one of your experiments
frau Frankenstein and taking our asses to prison? I don’t know about you but I really
don’t feel like going to jail because you believe you can save mankind with a
can of spam, a toothpick and well basically you’re not MacGyver.” 

She looked at me with some form of disbelief, like I had just put the cats paws in jello cups. After a moment of silence I sighed and said alright whats the plan. She laid out what she wanted to do, order DNA from a lab do the fun investigative stuff and I got to be the trusty side kick. Basically she called me robin. I couldn’t resist asking where she put my tights.

The days became weeks, weeks, months, into years deployments came and went and
before we knew it, it was June 2001. I was less optimistic than she who kept
saying science takes time; Rome wasn’t built in a day and all the other cliché things
that could fill the space. I was coming up on another deployment and excused
myself from her mad science for a few days and left a week later. In September before
I returned home I got an email from her saying she had done it but wouldn’t go
into detail and would tell me when I got home. Back in country on the 10th
waking on the 11th the next call I got from her was more panic than
anything else partially due to the events the rest with what she was going to
do “we have to get rid of this stuff”. 

She found a way in the next 24 hours and by the time I got home the living room
resembled a living space again; she had collected her notes and put them
somewhere safe. Less than a week later we were both gone, when I got back I told
her I was moving out and a couple weeks later we parted ways. About a year ago I
heard from her, she had moved south where people didn’t seem to care what you
did they minded their own business there but she was still very active in her
work and had gone to school for it. She had made quite a few advances too. We had
a good talk, before saying our goodbyes an hour or so later. And I haven’t
heard from her since.

And then buffy stalked edward.... the end.

well kats and kit’ns its that time again.

Another week another day spent daydreaming about how life could or should be…. Oh how we could go on for hours on this subject but that my darlings will be another post entirely for now lets talk of one of my favorite things….. sci-fi. No im not talking about the channel that has all the cool shows like BSG, being human and ghost hunters though in a way they are still relevant no im talking about science fiction, the stuff that has managed to cause havoc in society for decades (yes Mr.Wells im talking about you). And while sci-fi is amazing modern society has always seemed to have a fascination with magic and fantasy that seems to be stronger than its obsession with sci-fi… why is this?

Lets look at some of the big hits that have dominated theaters across the country harry potter, twilight, avatar (yes there is a little magic in this one as well ppl) if you take them at face value one could say there is little to no science in these films what so ever. But I disagree… honestly that’s part of the draw for all things magic the subtle insertion of science into the plot or story. sci-fi and fantasy are connected because the science aspect is so subtle that we can easily miss it if we aren’t looking for it.

Think of the old stories of merlin and the great times of old, when men were men and lizards were dragons…. And the witches oh the witches. But what do you always have in these and in fairy tales, that’s right potions, and what does that involve? Chemistry or alchemy whatever point is there is a combination of things that bubble and boil and go poof then suddenly you have david hasselhoff standing there.

But I digress

I cant say that fantasy is the literature of our age, while its great to daydream of a world where magic can fix your problems we have to remember that its science and the curiosity of what can be that has gotten us where we are today. Sci-fi is the reason that we have come of the greatest inventions of our time the possibility of other worlds, space travel, and yes living on the moon would we have these ideas if it were not for science better would be be actively trying to do most of them without it? Sci-fi is the continuation of all those fantasy daydreams that filled some of our youths in a way.

But I guess there is a little magic in science, because our imaginations allow it to be. One day we will bring the dinosaurs back, we will have our dragon’s then im sure. Genetically modified im sure but we will have them all the same.

 

 

Mork calling orson… come in orson…. you stole my jet pack punk!

Well ladies and gents young and old big and small, lets again take a look back into our past as they try to predict our future. And there are so many things to choose from thanks to the brilliant folks over at Popular Mechanics and this little work of fiction the wonderful future that never was… things that im pretty sure without this book would be forever forgotten to history and we would not have the fortune to ask one very important question….. What the hell were we thinking?!?!
From flying cars, to jet packs, extra light weight housing, cities covered by a massive dome to the skyscraper and faster automobiles one has to admit that our ancestors were definitely creative. So what goodies have I chosen to look at today im sure we are all dying to know. So class please open your text to chapter two, we will be looking at the following pages 54, 62, and 66 and yes there will be a pop quiz at the end of today lesson.

Yes im looking at two of our favorite things food and clothing. The predictions on pg. 54 are mostly focused on clothing made from everything including asbestos that can be cleaned by fire, aluminum that will provide added durability, and last but not least clothing made from petroleum as we will have so much of it available. Page 62 offers us the idea that our milk and butter will one day be made from kerosene and …AND! Will be served in either a pill or concentrated form. And finally pg. 66 brings an idea to combat the possible future food shortage of the future by creating synthetic foods from coal and fats from petroleum.

 

Now when we look at these wonderfully imaginative idea’s does anyone else sit and ask themselves if our ancestors were just a little bit suicidal. Now im not being negative or saying that these were bad ideas but I have a little issue with wearing and eating things that burn. I am also not saying that they were unaware of the use for these items to produce heat and fire, but I think the logic was a little off somewhere. But what these things do tell us is that they were looking for ways to make our lives that much easier, it would be fantastic not to have to wash clothing but to run it through the fire just as it would be to not have to slave over a hot stove/oven in order to put a meal on the table or churn butter (if anyone was still doing that).

 

But then again lets think about this are we not too doing the same thing? Looking for ways to make our lives that much easier…. I mean we still think its possible to live on other planets who’s to say that 100 years from now we might be looked at just as crazy for this thought or the constant push to go faster than ever before. However the one thing that we haven’t quite gotten (that other countries seem to) is the idea to build UP instead of out. We did have this idea once I think we called it New York but I really don’t know what happened after that. So in short in the past there were the excitement of possibility and now its more or less the recognition of it all… and the betterment of man in there somewhere. 

Here endeth the lesson (just because i kinda love Sean Connery)